I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize