Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
