I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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