You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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