Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
