If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize