So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
