Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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