New invention idea: vibrating tampons
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
