did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
