If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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