You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You're like the curious george of whores
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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