Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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