i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
