i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
