Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
