She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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