PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
