i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
