I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
