i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
