Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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