Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
