I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
