I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
