The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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