it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
