His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize