He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
