I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
