where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
