Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
