so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Your mouth is God's brothel.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
