ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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