Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
