I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
