I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
