Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
