just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
