Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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