Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
