okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
