Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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