there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
