We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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