Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
