Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
