Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize