So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
