I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
