he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
