I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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