Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
