Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sponge bath it is.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
