I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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