if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
