that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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