I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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