I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize