Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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