Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
