but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
