Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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