OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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