Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
